Domestic Violence, Mental Health during the the Holidays

The holiday season is often viewed as a time of celebration, connection and family. However, for individuals living with HIV who are experiencing, intimate partner violence (IPV), and those living with HIV, this time of year can bring heightened stress and increased vulnerability.

Research shows the holidays can intensify existing tensions within relationships, resulting in more frequent incidents of violence and abuse, according to the Chicago Abused Women’s Coalition.

Domestic and intimate partner violence increase during the holidays in part because of the personal and social obligations associated with the season. The demands of holiday preparation — meals, gifts and gatherings — can induce stress, anxiety and frustration. In some households, these conditions amplify existing relationship challenges and may trigger abusive behavior. Increased alcohol consumption during holiday celebrations can also contribute to aggression, while harmful behaviors may be more easily overlooked in social settings. For survivors, this can result in more frequent verbal, physical and emotional harm.

Joy Walker – Jones, LCSW, MAUCSF Women’s Specialty Program, Center to Advance Trauma-Informed Health Care, said:

“According to the Black Women’s Health Project, domestic violence is the No. 1 health issue facing Black women. More than 40% of Black women experience intimate partner violence during their lifetime, 53.8% experience psychological abuse, and more than half — 55% — of women living with HIV experience IPV. The impact of these abuses includes mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder, as well as chronic pain, injury, isolation and financial stress.”

Experiences of abuse can intensify feelings of isolation, particularly during a season often associated with family and tradition. Survivors may struggle with societal expectations of what a “normal” holiday should look like, leading to shame or uncertainty about seeking help. In addition, program closures and changes in service availability during the holidays can make it more difficult for individuals experiencing domestic or intimate partner violence to access care and support.

Allana Lewis – Chery said:

“What survivors often need to hear is that they are not alone, their experiences are valid, and healing is possible. It’s crucial to create a supportive environment where survivors feel empowered to share their stories without fear of judgment.”

There is light at the end of the tunnel, and brighter days are ahead. The holiday season does not have to be traumatic. Reaching out to local or national resources can be an important step toward safety and recovery. Seeking support, community and physical and mental health care are all acts of self-care, self-love and resilience.

Allana Lewis – Chery added:

“Working with Black women experiencing IPV has shown me that this is not just a personal issue, but a societal one that requires empathy, understanding and collective action. We must break the silence, challenge harmful norms and promote healthy relationships so families can thrive without fear.”

Having a safety plan and support from trusted community members and family is critical. Consider the following steps as part of a personal safety plan:

• Recognize patterns of escalation. Pay attention to abusive behaviors and warning signs to identify when situations may become unsafe.

• Develop a contact list. Arrange for a trusted friend or family member to call or text regularly. Keep your phone charged and accessible.

• Create a code word. Establish a discreet signal with trusted individuals to indicate you need immediate help.

• Prepare an emergency bag. Pack a small, inconspicuous bag with copies of important documents, identification, medications, a phone charger and some cash.

• Identify safe destinations. Know where you can go if you need to leave, such as a trusted home, shelter or hotel, and how you will get there.

Beyond immediate safety, creating a positive internal space is also important. Reflecting on personal growth, reclaiming the meaning of the holidays and establishing new traditions can support emotional healing. Leaving a dynamic marked by domestic abuse or intimate partner violence can be a courageous first step toward a safer, healthier and more fulfilling life.

One survivor shared this reflection:

“I used to think that walking away from the abuse meant I was breaking my family apart. Now I realize I was actually saving it.”

Survivors can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788. It is never too late to advocate for your life and your future.